Cats vs Dogs

There was a time where I would have said cats and dogs couldnt be compared because they were so different. But that was before I met and adopted Faith. And now that Ive had both species in my life, there are several major differences. And although I dont have to make any kind of decision now, I have been thinking a lot about the choice I would make in my future: cats, dogs, or both?

The reason Ive been thinking about it, is because of my future~it is fraught with complications and unknowns; more so than the average person. With the possibility of major surgery coming up in the next 6 mos to 3 years, its something I have to think about. What kind of pet will I be able to share my life with, and that I can handle easily? Right now Im thinking about it more than ever because of the situation I find myself in at this time. My oxygen saturation is so poor, that my cardiologist pulled me out of cardiac rehab, ran a CT scan to find out what was going on, and scheduled me with a surgeon and EP (electrophysics dr.?-the type of Dr. who deals with the electrical currents and impulses on the heart). I really cant do much of anything; I was also told no more vacuuming, no more walking the dogs (which is made easier to cope with in this frigid weather) and to be careful lifting things...as in "dont unless you have to".

So this is where the actual question comes in. I am finding myself unable to care for a dog properly; luckily my girls are old enough now that playing some fetch inside is enough exercise for them for the day. The one thing that is especially causing me guilt, is not being able to groom my dogs, which I have done for them since they were babies. It worries me to have someone else groom them; because of Heidi's severe arthritis and Shelby' heart (she has a murmur and needs to be watched for signs of stress or fatigue). This is really bothering me, but its not cheap getting 2 shelties groomed either.

Money is also a factor. Grooming, which was just mentioned, but also more expensive vet bills and more food~all because of their larger size than Faith. But it goes deeper than these trivial "problems". It is a deep, dark, FEAR of mine that I will never bond with another dog the way I have bonded with my girls. They fit into my life so comfortably and having them is as easy as breathing. If I got another sheltie, I worry I would constantly be comparing her to my girls now because, as my old trainer friend used to say "every year older a pet gets, the closer they get to saint-hood". My girls can do no wrong. And at their age, if they do do something wrong, it is easily brushed off, forgiven and forgotten. I thought about getting another breed, but that too raises the same issues. I had a Shiloh Shepherd named Norah for 3 months in 2013. I found out she had severe hip dysplasia and because I couldnt afford thee surgery, I had to relinquish her to her sisters family in NJ because they COULD afford it. So Ive thought about getting another Shiloh, but I worry about another dog having HD, and also the other things~cost of food (Norah was eating 5 cups a day at 5 months old), cost of vet care (puppy shots, spaying and stomach tacking after 2 years of age, etc.) I also worry about the size. I LIKE how big Norah was, even at a young age, but what happens when she gets older? If one of my girls now becomes immobile, I can easily lift them in and out, off and on places, and we can use a stroller to continue our walks.

FAITH, on the other hand, is so so much easier in so many ways. For starters, I have a different bond completely with her. While most of my memories with my girls are our many adventures camping or traveling doing dog shows, etc., my relationship with Faith is more intimate; she is always by my side, in my lap or in my face. She also has an uncanny ability to know when Im in pain and am upset. Her costs are less, where she eats so little, and her litter is just as easy as picking up poo from the park. She is easy in the exercise department, because I can sit and play "chase the red dot" with her and not get tired or out of breath.It is also easier getting an apartment with one cat, than one cat and a very large dog (which I may have to do when my mom moves up north; she bought a piece of land in northern NH and plans on building a log home up there within the next few years...when I would probably be making this decision...cat, or both?)

So here I sit, wondering what life would be without a dog for the first time since I was 7 years old. The first time without a sheltie in 19 years. What do I do? And why am I obsessing over this decision now? My therapist says its healthy and normal to be thinking about and planning for my future...and remembering my girls wont always be around. But for me, its just sad and depressing...knowing one day I WILL need to make this decision; which means my girls would have passed on.

Are these valid concerns? Am I crazy for thinking about this now? One thing I know for sure, is that everything happens for a reason, and when its supposed to. Now that I am going "down hill" in my heart department, its easy having sweet old lady dogs. They dont require much except love, food, and a bit of exercise every now and then and I think this will be vitally important when I have my big surgery. The only thing I worry about is being hospitalized if they get sick. THAT is my biggest fear of them all...


So although I dont have to answer the question now, its driving me nuts. Im making the "resolutions" of spending more time with my girls and making sure each one of their golden days is even better than the day before. And I know no matter what my decision, Faith will be by our sides and making everything life throws at us, a little bit better.