Energy and Healing

Ive never had a cat before. When I was younger, like 10 and under, I always wanted one. But my moms side of the family is very superstitious and my mom therefore said NO. WAY. I even tried catching one from a feral litter born to neighbors down the street. I actually succeeded and caught one that had unfortunately damaged its rear leg. I kept it in my closet, but couldnt keep my own secret and told my mom. I dont recall her exact reaction other than "BRING THAT DAMN THING BACK TO THE NEIGHBORS!" So, all in all, Faith is my first cat. I know Ive written about how I came to own her (ok, ok...no cat is owned, they own US) but ever since shes come home with me, we've had a very unique bond. Now, since I was repeatedly told NO CATS and was given a dog at the time of my parents divorce, therefore making me an automatic an immediate dog person, the dogs I have owned have not had this...connection. My dog Heidi, whom is an 11 1/2yo Sheltie and my other dog Shelby, whom just turned 11 and is also a Sheltie, have a connection with me that I have not had with my other DOGS. They are super intune with me, and are extremely well trained, and in my own words (and through my own eyes) "gifted". They go EVERY WHERE with me and have been on trains, ski gondolas, kayaking and camping, and I have always been praised on how well they behave. Now, Im not saying cats are less intelligent (again, who owns whom?) But this little cat has something....different. Something...special. And Im wondering whether its a cat thing, a "once in a life-time cat" thing or whether Faith is unique.

She seems to be very...bonded to me. Now, Im sure thats normal for all cats. They want to be where you are and know what your doing ALL THE TIME. But Faith...well, for example, I took the dogs out today as it was the real first day of spring like weather here in New England, and when I got home, my mom said Faith had been sitting in the window for HOURS waiting for me to come home. I noticed her, in the window, while unloading the dogs, and then she left...so that she could greet me at the door. I heard thats normal for some, maybe even a majority of cats...but it gets stranger...

Im a Reiki I practitioner, and also have my degree in small animal massage. I dont practice on pets other than my own because of my health. My dogs...HATE IT. They cant stand, sit or lie while Im trying to do anything to them; even if the Reiki is hands off. They get up an move away from me. But Faith is like an energy SPONGE. She seeks me out every night after the tv goes off for her nightly massage session. And heres the strangest part: she gives me the energy BACK. As soon as I touch her, even if its first thing in the morning when Im just waking up, I get this....JOLT of electricity from her that flows directly from my hand, up my arm, an into my chest and heart. Sometimes it happens even if I just look at her. Its an odd feeling, and one that Ive never felt before on any person or animal I have practiced on. Has anyone else ever felt this with..anyone? A pet? A person?

She is also a very..."close" cat, often in my lap, by my side or actually laying ON my side, an she is completely aware of the healing power of her purr. Tonight I had 2 panic attacks; both due to my missing meds (my insurance just kicked in today, so I couldnt afford them before!) and because I was dwelling on my health, and using my special "brand" of anxiety-catastrophizing (where your brain automatically goes from zero to worst case scenario possible no matter what youre thinking about) And tonight I was thinking of my cardiac health. Now this cat KNEW I was too keyed up and filled with nervous energy to help, but sure enough when I calmed down a little, here she comes, in like a shot, to purr and comfort me. My dogs...oblivious. (Although I cant totally fault them; again it was their first time out, and we may have over done it...theyve been sleeping in the same positions snoring for HOURS).

I mean, this might be totally all in my head, and I just am super hyperactively focused on my pets, but I thought it would be worth mentioning and seeing if anyone else out there had the same or similar experiences. Shes curled up in her little "cinnamon bun roll" right next to my hip as I type this. And I know I'll wake up to her laying on me purring tomorrow morning...but I wouldnt have any of this any other way. I feel like...my dogs and I are kindred spirits, but maybe Faith was sent as a spirit guide to lead me along the path I must follow and teach me lessons as we go...Ive already learned so much.

Oh, Faith...

couldnt help but show off Faiths first pic where I got her beautiful green eyes open. She thought she was being sneaky by hiding under the blanket but...

you can see how well that worked out...

I love my kitty!!!

Cats vs Dogs

There was a time where I would have said cats and dogs couldnt be compared because they were so different. But that was before I met and adopted Faith. And now that Ive had both species in my life, there are several major differences. And although I dont have to make any kind of decision now, I have been thinking a lot about the choice I would make in my future: cats, dogs, or both?

The reason Ive been thinking about it, is because of my future~it is fraught with complications and unknowns; more so than the average person. With the possibility of major surgery coming up in the next 6 mos to 3 years, its something I have to think about. What kind of pet will I be able to share my life with, and that I can handle easily? Right now Im thinking about it more than ever because of the situation I find myself in at this time. My oxygen saturation is so poor, that my cardiologist pulled me out of cardiac rehab, ran a CT scan to find out what was going on, and scheduled me with a surgeon and EP (electrophysics dr.?-the type of Dr. who deals with the electrical currents and impulses on the heart). I really cant do much of anything; I was also told no more vacuuming, no more walking the dogs (which is made easier to cope with in this frigid weather) and to be careful lifting things...as in "dont unless you have to".

So this is where the actual question comes in. I am finding myself unable to care for a dog properly; luckily my girls are old enough now that playing some fetch inside is enough exercise for them for the day. The one thing that is especially causing me guilt, is not being able to groom my dogs, which I have done for them since they were babies. It worries me to have someone else groom them; because of Heidi's severe arthritis and Shelby' heart (she has a murmur and needs to be watched for signs of stress or fatigue). This is really bothering me, but its not cheap getting 2 shelties groomed either.

Money is also a factor. Grooming, which was just mentioned, but also more expensive vet bills and more food~all because of their larger size than Faith. But it goes deeper than these trivial "problems". It is a deep, dark, FEAR of mine that I will never bond with another dog the way I have bonded with my girls. They fit into my life so comfortably and having them is as easy as breathing. If I got another sheltie, I worry I would constantly be comparing her to my girls now because, as my old trainer friend used to say "every year older a pet gets, the closer they get to saint-hood". My girls can do no wrong. And at their age, if they do do something wrong, it is easily brushed off, forgiven and forgotten. I thought about getting another breed, but that too raises the same issues. I had a Shiloh Shepherd named Norah for 3 months in 2013. I found out she had severe hip dysplasia and because I couldnt afford thee surgery, I had to relinquish her to her sisters family in NJ because they COULD afford it. So Ive thought about getting another Shiloh, but I worry about another dog having HD, and also the other things~cost of food (Norah was eating 5 cups a day at 5 months old), cost of vet care (puppy shots, spaying and stomach tacking after 2 years of age, etc.) I also worry about the size. I LIKE how big Norah was, even at a young age, but what happens when she gets older? If one of my girls now becomes immobile, I can easily lift them in and out, off and on places, and we can use a stroller to continue our walks.

FAITH, on the other hand, is so so much easier in so many ways. For starters, I have a different bond completely with her. While most of my memories with my girls are our many adventures camping or traveling doing dog shows, etc., my relationship with Faith is more intimate; she is always by my side, in my lap or in my face. She also has an uncanny ability to know when Im in pain and am upset. Her costs are less, where she eats so little, and her litter is just as easy as picking up poo from the park. She is easy in the exercise department, because I can sit and play "chase the red dot" with her and not get tired or out of breath.It is also easier getting an apartment with one cat, than one cat and a very large dog (which I may have to do when my mom moves up north; she bought a piece of land in northern NH and plans on building a log home up there within the next few years...when I would probably be making this decision...cat, or both?)

So here I sit, wondering what life would be without a dog for the first time since I was 7 years old. The first time without a sheltie in 19 years. What do I do? And why am I obsessing over this decision now? My therapist says its healthy and normal to be thinking about and planning for my future...and remembering my girls wont always be around. But for me, its just sad and depressing...knowing one day I WILL need to make this decision; which means my girls would have passed on.

Are these valid concerns? Am I crazy for thinking about this now? One thing I know for sure, is that everything happens for a reason, and when its supposed to. Now that I am going "down hill" in my heart department, its easy having sweet old lady dogs. They dont require much except love, food, and a bit of exercise every now and then and I think this will be vitally important when I have my big surgery. The only thing I worry about is being hospitalized if they get sick. THAT is my biggest fear of them all...


So although I dont have to answer the question now, its driving me nuts. Im making the "resolutions" of spending more time with my girls and making sure each one of their golden days is even better than the day before. And I know no matter what my decision, Faith will be by our sides and making everything life throws at us, a little bit better.

The Heart-Healer

So I had a cardiac CT scan yesterday to see if there were collateral vessels forming, that are shunting my blood around my heart and lungs, and reconnecting them elsewhere...which basically means that my blue oxygen deprived blood is being pushed out into my body, making it feel like I am not taking in enough oxygen (even though my lungs are fine). So the CT scan is pretty standard. The only thing was, that I needed to pre-medicate myself with benadryl and prednisone because I have had an allergic reaction to the contrast dye they use in the scan to detect the blood flow. This is the first time I had to be pre-medded, so I wasnt sure what to expect, apart from being sleepy from the benadryl.

So the scan went fine, and I didnt have any reaction (again, aside from sleepiness!) and went and ran some errands with mom afterwards, including getting our Christmas tree. So we get home, set the tree up and BAM. My heart feels like its going to beat right out of my chest. It is racing, and skipping beats along the way. Im scared. I mean, scared enough to be close to calling 911. Luckily, I have my cardiologist paged through MGH and she calls me back within about 10 mins. She said it was the prednisone, and to take my heart meds early to stop the racing and skipping.

Now, I should say, that when this started, I reclined in my living room chair to try and stop the racing. Shelby my dog jumped into my lap, and Faith jumped onto my feet. As soon as I spoke with my Dr. and was told to take my meds and relax, Faith immediately moved to my chest. Now, I had my pulse-oxometer on my left had to keep an eye on my HR. Within 5 minutes of Faith on my chest (and Shelby on my lap) my HR had dropped over 12 BPM. I hadnt even gotten up to take the medication yet. For anyone who doesnt believe in the healing power of pets, you come talk to ME, and I will give you not only this story, but other cases not only involving my own animals, but those of friends, families and strangers who have told their stories in various books I have read.

Thank you for reading this; the moral of the story is intended to be "ask, and you shall receive". I asked to have my HR go down, and to not have to go to the ER by ambulance. Not only did I get my wish, but I got comfort and reassurance as well. Some may say its the meds, some may say it was the Dr.s advice. I say it was the power of animal healing and positive thought =0)

Intergrating

I decided that after I met with the animal communicator at a pet show a month or so ago, I would integrate Faith into the lower half of the house. The first communicator I met with was SPOT ON. I sat down with a picture of Faith and her doggie siblings and the first thing she said while holding Faiths picture was "she wants to know why shes alone so much." That cut me to the core. While she was just living upstairs, she would yeowl and howl with misery at being left alone in the upstairs dungeon...where she had a warm bed to sleep on (mine), her scratching post AND her cat tower. But she wanted me. So I decided that while mom was away at work, I would secretly let her down stairs and integrate her into the rest of the family.

Things went very well! Of course she was ok with my dogs, but mom has two big rescue dogs and I didn't know how theyd react. LOL, turns out I had NOTHING to be afraid of. Faith ruled those dogs with just a few swipes of her paw. The dogs were curious, but she let them know where the line was drawn. It went great. So we exposed and exposed and I finally let her down when my mom was due to come home. Her first words were "what is that CAT doing down here????" (she is not only a non-cat person, she is anti-cat altogether. But Faith kept coming down, and sneaking and squeezing through the bars of my upstairs gate, now letting HERSELF out when she wanted.

So, here she sits, warming my lap and healing me, a little kitty angel, and, although I can only speak for myself, it seems that we are BOTH very happy with the relationship. Now, a fair warning. My moms dogs are big, but have very little prey drive...and Faith is not the running type, and those were both big players in the success of this experiment. If youre looking to introduce your four legged friends, please consult a professional (which I was) and do it slowly and safely. No one wants a disaster!!!!

So now we have a happy cat, slightly timid dogs, and no more crying from being lonely upstairs.

The Healer

Today I learned something very interesting: my cat Faith, is a healer. Now, I know a lot of you must be thinking :duh, most cats are in some way or another...in fact, most ANIMALS are in some way (dogs, including mine, going into rehab centers or nursing homes, horses used as therapy animals for riding etc. etc.)

Thats what most people think of as animal healers; other people are touched by their own animals in a much deeper way. A majority of the books that I own and read are about the human-animal bond; animals saving their owners from true danger like a house fire, or from drowning. Some other people have animals that have healed them in more spiritual ways; mending broken hearts and lives. That is where my animals fit. Ive tried to make my mental and physical illnesses no secret. There is no difference between the chemical imbalance in my brain sending my body fight or flight panic signals, and the electrical impulses that control the rhythm of my heart. I have come to terms with those facts, and those illnesses. However, although I am COMFORTABLE with what I have to live with, I am always trying to learn. I try to get something new out of every session with either my cardiologist or my therapist.

Today, I happened to learn something new from my therapist....that my cat is healing me. Again, going beyond helping me get up every morning, and get her food ready; taking her for a walk in the stroller, snuggling with me when Im down, etc. (My dogs do all of this too, by the way; I definitely dont want to minimize what THEY do for me everyday!) But it turns out that Faith is doing two things that my dogs are not...

The first thing Faith does, is that she sits or lies on me. Now, this may seem like no big deal since billions of cats all over the world do the same thing for their pet parents. But this is something that can actually help me in my panic. After having a pretty bad panic attack a few days ago at my aunts, my therapist suggested that I have a talk with my family about what they can do to help me should it happen again (not a question of if, but when...). She suggested that because my brain goes into "primal" mode (meaning it is going through fight/flight pattern because of the panic and the adrenaline surging increasing those feelings), I am often unable to speak, or if I can, make much since~because my brain is not working right. So the best thing they can do, instead of asking me questions or trying to "talk some sense into me", would be to tightly hug me, or to swaddle me in a blanket because that primal tactile sensation will calm me down; like it can do with people with brain injuries, Alzheimer's, or other emotional disorders.

So I asked if there was anything I could do about a panic attack either when Im alone, or in a situation when I cant get this feeling from someone else. She suggested that I might want to get a weighted blanket or shawl to "fake" the hug pressure. Then I thought about Faith...I always feel better when she is sitting on me: me chest, my stomach, my lap, wherever. And now I know its the pressure her little body is exerting thats making me feel better.

The other thing that she can do that the dogs cat is purr. Purring has been scientifically shown to heal; its frequency is like using ultrasound. Here is a great article about the healing benefits of purring: http://consciouscat.net/2009/09/14/the-cats-purr-a-biomechanical-healing-mechanism/

As you can see, cats are the ultimate healers! Im going to go hug my little Faith right now and let her know how much I appreciate her help. Id love to hear how your kitties are healing you!

Chit Chat Cat

Ive never met a more vocal cat than Faith. Now, I know breeds of the Oriental variety are supposed to be very talkative, but Im not just talking about meowing here. Faith makes all KINDS of noises that I just think enhance her cuteness to the max. It started when she was at the vet when I first met her and she chose me as her human. The vet actually said that she might be in heat because she was so vocal in her cage to ANYONE who walked by. She was spayed soon after we had that conversation, and it was determined that not only was she not in heat, but she was younger than previously thought.

Then, she decided to show her talkative self when we went home; and then back to the vet for various appointments. She was always very clear on letting me know how she felt about being in her travel bag (and now plastic carrier). She has loud meows. She has soft meows. She has plaintive meows. She has questioning meows. All kinds of meows come from that little princess inside the carrier.

At home, she was always pretty quiet; again she was living in close quarters with two male cats and two other dogs besides my own. But now, she has REALLY come into her own. She chats with me every time I touch her pretty much. She talks to me when ever we greet each other; when I wake up in the morning, and when I come upstairs where she lives. It always seems to be chastising, like my oldest sheltie Heidi sounds like: "where have you been?" "do you know how long you've been gone?" "you're doing it wrong" and the clearest message: "wheres my FOOD?" She carries on her conversation with my prompting, and we chat all the way down the hall into either my bedroom, or the bathroom where her cat tower is (where she eats). And she makes ALL KINDS of noises along the way: she meows, chirps, purrs and yowls. Again, all the same basic message.

Now she has really let her guard down, and has started making "comfort" noises. Now, Ive never heard another cat make these noises, nor have I heard OF other cats making these sounds. Theyre "sighs". Theyre "moans". Theyre purrs of pleasure. Its so sweet to hear her curl up next to me at night and let a quiet "hhhmmmmmm" go; like shes had a rough day being a cat and is glad the work is finally over. The most precious sound is the quiet "aaahhhhhhh" sigh that she does in my ear when she lays on my shoulder. It sounds like the quiet "coo" a baby makes.

All this factored into my new registered name for her, through TICA where I plan to show her in the House Hold Pet division. She is known as Faith to her fans, but to the show world, she will now be known as "Jenns Little Gossip Girl" =0)

I just love all the sounds my baby makes...do your cats have any unique habits or sounds they make?